Back to School...Wait! Did We Stop?!
All the "Back to School" pictures on social media got me thinking about my kids' past conversations, comments, and questions.
So, in the interest of starting the new school year, I thought I would throw this out there.
You might be a homeschooler if you've ever heard these statements, questions, or had a conversation similar to one of these…
· There's a beginning of a school year?
· Q - When did I start school? A – The day you were born.
· What's a grade?
· Jane is in 2nd grade; am I in a grade?
· Why did Bill get a number at the top of his paper?
· Why did Sue get a letter at the top of her paper?
· What are Valentines?
· Why do I have to write a bunch of Valentines?
· Why did you give me a name with nine letters? It doesn't fit on my Valentines?
· How come we have to do a lesson on "fill in the holiday" before celebrating it?
· Jane didn't have a "President's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Martin Luther King, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc." dinner; how come we have to have one?
· Did you know Bill's family just watches the Olympics? He didn't have to do a Lapbook about them!
· What's homework?
· Why don't I have homework?
· You mean other kids don't go to school in the summer?
· I just realized other kids get new school clothes each year because they don't go to school in their pajamas!
· Jane doesn't have to heat up her teacher's coffee all day long; why do I have to heat up yours?
· You mean other kids don't do school in their bed, on the trampoline, in the car, on the floor, outside, at the park, etc.?
· Did you know at "real" school they don't have parties on President's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Martin Luther King, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc."?
· Did you know at "real" school they don't have to do chores every day? How come I have to do chores every day?
· Did you know at "real" school they don't get to listen to music while they do school?!
· At "real" school, kids don't have to help make Thanksgiving dinner; they get off of school!
· In a whiney voice at 11:30 AM, "I finished my school and chores. I'm bored!" Response, "do some more school, read a book, play a game, build something, do a craft, watch an educational video." "It's not fair kids in "real" school don't have to do that!"
· The place that sends our school books is in Virginia, they had to have a snow day because of the big snowstorm. Does that mean we get a snow day too?!
· Did you know that in "real" schools, they don't have a field trip every month or week, fill in the blank?
· Can I take a 15-minute break? I did four books?
· How come Dad's the principal?
· What's a principal?
· How come you can't help me with this math problem? I don't want to wait to do it with dad.
· Can we go to Pa's to do the science experiments? He's more fun than you.
· How come in "real" school, kids don't have to meet with a "real" teacher once a year to show them all their work?
Mom, do you count fishing with Pa as science or P.E.
While making homemade cookies, we learned something today: there are 48 teaspoons in a cup. I don't know when you would ever need that? Except maybe now, I guess, haha.
Is shooting at Bass Pro Shop school?
Remember? I wore the Civil War outfit.
Can I count catching a Bonnet Head Shark as something for high school credit?
When people ask, "What about socialization and things like prom?" My response "The Organized Child attended five proms, I think we're good."
· I don't see how helping tar the roof, fix the car, rewire the kitchen, put a new engine in the truck, sew costumes, mulching the yard, etc., counts as school.
· When your kids were little, they measured time in the amount of "Arthurs" it took to do something.
· Bill has a lunchbox; I want a lunchbox.
· Jane gets to ride the bus. Why can't I ride the bus?
· At the library, your child picks out Walter Cronkite narrated dinosaur documentaries to take home and watch for fun.
· Your cat or dog joins you at the table, in your bed, on the floor, etc., while doing your schoolwork.
· When your mom has doctor's appointments where you can't stay in the lobby and do your schoolwork, you go to work with your dad and do school in his office.
When you go to the store with your mom in the middle of the day, and the clerk, looking perplexed, asks, is it a school holiday? (Never understood that! We live in the tourist capital; why couldn't they be some kid on vacation?)
· Your kid asks after leaving the store, "why do they always ask us if it's a school holiday?"
· What's a school holiday?
· How come we have to know the name of every '80s song and who sang it?
· After every song older than five years comes on the radio, "Are they dead?"
· Everybody else is taking Spanish in school. How come I have to take Latin?
· Why is Pink Floyd's "We Don't Need No Education" (Another Brick in the Wall Part 2) our homeschool's anthem?
· You're pregnant? When is it due? Yeah!! Only six more months, and we get to do easy school and school in mom's bed after the baby is born!
· The linen closet needs to be cleaned out, and the bathroom is messy; can I not do school today if I clean those out?
· "I'm pretty sure folding clothes isn't a school subject!" Me – "Sure it is, it counts as Home Ec."
· Q – "Jane's mom makes her homemade breakfast every morning. How come you don't make us breakfast every morning?" A - "I guess she's a good mom, I'm not." Q – "When do you think you might become a good one?!"
· Q – "You mean I can graduate early if I just finish that list?" A – "Yes." Q – "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" A – "I've been telling you for years if you would just sit down and get your work done instead of dragging it out, you would not only have your day to do other things, you would be done with all of your school, and you could graduate early!"
· My friends are all posting their school schedule, I wanted to post "Me, home 24/7".
· You mean other kids have to take piano, voice, dance, fill in the blank lessons after school, not during the school day?!
· Your kid's friends have asked them more than once, "So are you the valedictorian of your class?"
· Your kid's friends have asked them more than once, "So for graduation, do you just walk down your hall to the living room?"
· Your kid's friends asked, "Why are you wearing a pink, bedazzled graduation cap and gown?"
· And, my all-time favorite from one of my kid's friends – My daughter had to take the PSAT at the local high school. Upon entering the classroom, my daughter ran into a friend from church. He looked up and asked, "What the hell are you doing here?!" This is also the kid that, after hearing about my daughter's dramatic tale of helping tar our roof, exclaimed: "Your life sounds like a living nightmare!"
Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart, parents or kids! In the words of Bill Jones, it's a "living nightmare!"
Images from Tenor.com and Fotophire used to blur pics