Valentine's Day Part 4

Back to my dilemma, this year I guess it’s a case of bad timing.  Valentine’s Day came at the wrong time or maybe it’s the fight that came at the wrong time.  Either way I’m not feeling overly lovey or connected and I don’t feel like giving a mushy card!  So, what to do?  Well, after some long thought and reading some more stuff on the subject of “act-as-if” I’ve learned, and have come to realize that I don’t act “act-as-if” in most aspects of my life.  Like the speaker and author Mike Robbins says “although I understand the concept of "acting as if" … about how we have the power to create our own reality, in certain areas of my life - especially the ones that are most important to me or the ones where I feel the most cynical and resigned, I often pay "lip service" to acting as if, while simply hoping things will get better, worrying that they won't, or allowing the outcome to determine how optimistic or pessimistic my outlook and approach will be.
This has been a sobering, but important realization … There is a big difference between knowing something and living it.”

After reflecting on this I decided that at least for Valentine’s Day to “act-as-if” The Director and I are both on a high, that we are deeply connected, and that we have resolved all past hurts and arguments, that life despite being a huge mess right now, isn’t!  I’m giving him a silly card that states “Are you thinking of me on Valentine’s Day?  You are now! And inside I’m putting $1.00 (see below for explanation, if you are reading this and you are one of my parents, siblings, children or other family member you may not want to read the explanation, I leave it up to you.)

“Act-as-if”, how much of our lives might change if we did that?  I’ll let you know what the out come is.  Not sure it will be an actual scientific measure but I’m willing to bet the results won’t be any worse than the situation has been the past few days.

My book recommendations for promoting love and long lasting relationships.
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman

The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman

Fun & Creative Dates for Married Couples: 52 Ways to Enjoy Life Together by Howard Books

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life by Daniel G. Amen M.D.   
My top 25 movie recommendations about love, romance or marriage in no particular order (realistic, classic or no where near realistic at all).
1.      RV
2.      Fireproof
3.      The Philadelphia Story
4.      Mickey Blue Eyes
5.      It Happened on Fith Avenue
6.      Joe vs. The Volcano
7.      When Harry Met Sally...
8.      Gone with the Wind
9.      Bringing Up Baby
10.  Christmas in Connecticut (oldest version)
11.  Father Goose
12.  Date Night
13.  I Hate Valentines Day
14.  You’ve Got Mail
15.  The Notebook
16.  The Proposal
17.  The Family Man
18.  Pretty Woman (I’m including this one because it’s one of The Director’s favorites)
19.  The Princess Bride
20.  Leap Year
21.  Serendipity
22.  The Long Long Trailer
23.  Tangled
24.  Enchanted
25.  50 First Dates

What’s the dollar for?  Sometime last year I read a post on A Holy Experience that shared the following letter and response, posted in the Ann Landers Column of the Chicago Tribune.
Their Love Yields A Second Honeymoon
June 06, 1998|By Ann Landers.

Dear Ann Landers: Last weekend, we celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. This morning, they left on a long-awaited trip to Hawaii. They were as excited as if it were their honeymoon.
When my parents married, they had only enough money for a three-day trip 50 miles from home. They made a pact that each time they made love; they would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their 50th anniversary.

Dad was a policeman, and Mom was a schoolteacher. They lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs. Raising five children was a challenge, and sometimes, money was short, but no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not let Mom take any money out of the "Hawaii account." As the account grew, they put it in a savings account and then bought CDs.

My parents were always very much in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling Mom, "I have a dollar in my pocket," and she would smile at him and reply, "I know how to spend it."
When each of us children married, Mom and Dad gave us a small metal box and told us their secret, which we found enchanting. All five of us are now saving for our dream honeymoons. Mom and Dad never told us how much money they had managed to save, but it must have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs, they had enough for airfare to Hawaii plus hotel accommodations for 10 days and plenty of spending money.

As they told us goodbye before leaving, Dad winked and said, "Tonight, we are starting an account for Cancun. That should only take 25 years."

Loving Daughter in Abilene, Texas
Dear Loving Daughter: I don't know when I have read a more heartwarming story. Your parents were marvelous role models for their five children. Please give them my warm, good wishes on their 50th, and ask them to drop me a postcard from Hawaii. It is truly one of the most romantic garden spots in the entire world.

That post inspired me to give a box to The Director last year.  I used an 8 x 6 inch acrylic box that had a place for a 4x6 photo in the top.  I made a 4x6 note that read “In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.”  Ephesians 5:33.  I also included a picture of wedding rings above the bible verse and inserted it in the photo area.  On the inside I included a copy of the letter from Loving Daughter to Ann Landers and $1.00.

I think this is one of the best gift ideas I’ve ever come across, and I know The Director liked it a lot!

Happy Valentines Day one and all!


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