Menopausal Ramblings

This started out as a Facebook post but ended up being really long (sorry), so now it's a blog post. Who knew. Feel free to read it or not. It's basic ramblings of a menopausal, occasional insomniac🤪 The most important ramblings are in the last few paragraphs if you're interested. 🥴

So, I'm still recuperating from costuming Peter Pan Jr. (You probably don't know the reason I write so inconsistently is that I've been the Lead Costume Designer/Costumer for a local community Youth Theatre Troupe, in addition to all my other responsibilities as the CEO and teacher for our family. To see some of my work check me out at @divamuffinmom.) I finally managed to pack up The Secret Garden costumes from the spring show and get them back to the theatre for storage. The cast of Peter Pan Jr. has one gig on August 17th requiring their costumes, so I'm only able to pack up certain ones, the ones for kiddos that were double or triple cast.

This was the last show I will be costuming for awhile. I need to help my beautiful girl, The Organized Child with her wedding planning and her new house projects. In addition, I need to get my life back on track, the mess and the clutter in my house cleaned up, push The Little Man a little harder in school and do things for my family I've been promising as well as some of my own house projects. So what else is new?!

One of the things I've been promising a family member is to complete a princess costume for her, for work. She has to provide her own costume in order to work birthday parties (which pay great tips). She is supposed to be training tomorrow. So, last night after a late dinner out with The VP, and a bit of wedding talk with The Organized Child, I started on one of the princess costumes I promised to make The Cream-in-the-Middle, the artist formerly known as The Informer.

Being the Thrifting Diva that I am, when we shopped for clothes to convert to amazing princess costumes, we ended up finding stuff to make four different costumes. (Because all the popular princesses have already been chosen by other employees, hers are some of the lesser-known ones.) I'm currently working on Minne Mouse because it is the easiest at this point and will get her going. I'll get the other three done soon enough.

Anyway, last night I had a case of insomnia, great for costume work, not great for the old menopause body. At 4:30 AM I finally decided I should probably try to get a few hours of sleep. No go, I read, did a crossword puzzle and still sleep eluded me. So, when The VP's alarm went off I figured it would be better to get up than try to get some sleep. You see, I have a coffee date with a friend that I haven't seen in a long while, at one of my favorite coffee places, and I didn't want to sleep through it. (I've actually done that before ugh!) Better to nap later.

So now I've been sitting in a quiet house since 7:15ish working away on the Minnie costume, listening to wonderful, meditative, instrumental music. I realized, when I'm tired, in a quiet house, listening to this kind of music, I can actually hear my own thoughts and pay attention to them. What a novel experience!

What I found out paying attention to my own thoughts is that I'm glad others are listening! My random lunatic thoughts this morning... Wawa's bathrooms are cleaner than the place we ate dinner last night. Not sure if that is just sad, gross or impressive on Wawa's part. (Don't know what Wawa is? Their tag line is true to life: Wawa: Convenience Store, Food Market, Coffee Shop & Fuel Station.)

Speaking of Wawa, I thought my Aunt was nuts when she said she was getting a sandwich from there, that she and her partner loved them. A. I thought she was a food snob. B. I couldn't understand how anyone would eat anything from a gas station (the last thing I had at a gas station was from 7/11 {nachos and hot dogs} in the '80s). And, C. what the heck were these Wawa's popping up all over town?

Now, I'm a solid, sold customer of Wawa's! They are clean! The bathroom was immaculate last night! The made to order food is always great! I can get fast, fresh, REAL, food if I'm on the run and have to grab something to eat somewhere. They have decent gas prices. The gas is from North America. And here is the kicker for me, ready for it? EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE is so incredibly nice there!!!! I'm talking about employees and customers! Wawa is the only place every single person who has ever gone in the door before me has held the door for me! I love Wawa! #wawaisgreat

That thought then led me to a weird rabbit hole... I'm tired, reading and that crossword puzzle did not help me fall asleep. I need to do more crossword puzzles and brain games, menopause is really messing with my memory and word retrieval. Although that could also be lack of sleep too, I'm not sure. That crossword puzzle I was doing sure was different than the one I usually do, it was really hard! There were a lot of questions and words that I had no idea what they were talking about and even after I saw the answer nothing was cleared up for me.

What's even sadder is that I'm playing the crossword puzzles on the AARP games website. Am I old enough to be on the AARP web site? How old do you have to be to be apart of AARP and what in the heck is AARP anyway?!

Then it dawns on me, my coffee is cold, I have to pee really bad and I've been pinning the same glove for I don't know how long. And, it's almost time to get ready to go have coffee with my friend. I can not be late! There is no excuse, I've literally been up all night! I have to be ready on time and get there on time or even early!

So, besides my bladder screaming at me, I guess that's my cue to get off the computer, get ready and finish what I can on Minnie's costume before I head out.

I hope you had a laugh at my expense or at least enjoyed my ramblings. If you're there with me, glad to have you, let's get coffee and share ramblings together.

If you're not there yet, I'll share my mother's 'Sage Advice' "Remember what I tell you, you will be on this very path sooner than you think. Time goes so fast, it was just yesterday that I was your age and laughing at some ridiculous ramblings and ideas. In my mind I'm still your age, when I look in the mirror I don't recognize the face, as my mind is still a 20 something. There is no way I have a child that's 25 or 23, or 19 or 14 or even 11! I was the one just planning my wedding! I was just a newlywed buying my first house! I was just newly-in-love! I was just cuddling and nursing my babies, pregnant again! I wasn't jaded or overwhelmed, my life wasn't cluttered and chaotic. I had big dreams and ambitions!"

Remember those words, pay attention, live in the moment, because before you know it, as the song says, "Sometimes life just slips in through a back door, And carves out a person, And makes you believe it's all true." Then the next thing you know is you haven't slept all night, you have to pee, your coffee is cold and the ramblings in your mind don't resemble anything that you remember your 20 something sane mind conjuring up.

This is my 50 something self, giving my 20 something self advice. I wish I could have heard it back then from myself as I don't think I really believed my Momma. I pray that if you are a 20 or 30 or 40 something that you will be wiser than me and heed my advice. Your tomorrows are not promised, babies grow up, parents and friends die. As Ferris Bueller says "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Don't miss life while you're in the trenches of the busyness of living, surviving or wasting time on inconsequential things.

A 50 something, unorganized, discombobulated, stay-at-home wife, mother, homeschooler, SHE (sidetracked home executive) and costuming Momma for a local community youth theatre troupe.

PS I couldn't understand why my coffee was getting cold so fast. I went to pour more coffee in my cup and realized it was cold in the thermal carafe, thinking there is something seriously wrong with the coffee carafe (besides missing the handle of course, because why replace a perfectly good thermal carafe even if it has no handle?), it dawned on me. I was up all night, no one was up before me, no one made coffee! I've been drinking yesterday's leftover coffee reheated in the microwave, zowee! My standards have slipped, or I'm to darn tired to tell the difference or maybe care. Oh well, I'll be drinking great, fresh, French coffee soon enough Woo Hoo! Now go enjoy a moment today!


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