The gift of a child
I usually write at night, so what I write is posted on the next day. Because I was writing on the 29th for the 30th I forgot that I wanted to post this on my actual child’s birthday. So here it is a day late.
Yesterday was a milestone for the Informer, she turned six! Six years ago, I went into labor 26 days early; she just couldn’t wait to make her grand entrance! She has always been a fiery, tough, little imp! She is tiny, petite and has the most beautiful, feminine name. Yet, for the most part she is more of a tom-boy, who looks like pig-pen, much of the time. As much as she likes to dress-up, and be foofy like her sisters, it doesn’t last long at all. A couple minutes after the hair has been done and fancy dresses put on, she is back to her untamed hair, sticking out all over the place, and usually some sort of mix, matched, wild, outfit. She always says what’s on her mind and makes no bones about what she thinks everyone else should be doing. She makes me laugh, and cry, and I can get beyond frustrated, with her lack of obedience. However, when I look at this tiny, impish, child I can not begin to explain the overwhelming love I have for her.
This little person entered the world early; she spent time in the NICU and under bilirubin lights. In the first few weeks of life, we took a ride in the ambulance to the pediatric hospital because she aspirated on her spit-up. Before she was a year old she had to have a CT scan, because the pediatrician wanted to be sure certain things were ok. She spent time in physical therapy because of torticollis, and not being able to turn over, by nine months of age. After physical therapy, she went through occupational therapy because of food and texture, issues. She has been monitored for the past three years because she is so tiny, they want to make sure she is growing well. Last year she had a sleep study because she couldn’t stay asleep. We found out she has mild sleep apnea and have worked through it. This year she had her heart monitored because of an arrhythmia episode she had. All of this in the first six years of her life and she is considered a healthy child. To see her today, you wouldn’t know that she ever experienced any of those things. Other than being tiny, she is just this little, fire ball of energy that talks constantly.
As I watch her sleep, and think about all of the joy she has brought to our family, I find it hard to believe that we have gone through all those tests and therapies and such. Then I think about families that have children with special needs, children that are truly sick or that have physical or mental challenges and I wonder how they do it, day in and day out.
When the Informer was almost a year old I became pregnant again, I lost that baby in a miscarriage. The doctor told me that the baby probably had a genetic problem or downs. As I lost the baby, I truly thanked God for the opportunity, to be a part of creating another soul, even if I would not be apart of its life on earth. It was an extremely painful experience but one I would go through again in a heartbeat. Each time I think back to one of the tests my children have gone through or I see a special needs child I think of the baby I lost. I wonder if God didn’t think I was capable of being a mom to a special needs child.
I don’t know why I lost the baby I did or why other children are born with special needs. I do know that I’m grateful that God has given me the chance to be a mom six times! Five times to kids that keep me hopping most of the time, and one special saint in heaven. Every child, not matter the challenges, no matter the time we have them, eight weeks in the womb or 60 years old, no matter what they do, good or bad, no matter what we get in a child they are a gift beyond all gifts! Nothing will ever compare to how your heart overflows with love for them. Nothing will ever compare to how it swells when you are proud of them. Nothing compares to the pain you can feel when they are hurting, or your scared because of a test result you’re waiting on, or you lost Jr. under the clothes rounder at Wal-Mart. All of those intense feelings let you know you are alive! They let you know that God created us to be connected and have immense feelings of love for each other, and none more so, than for a child. I think God gave us those intense feelings to show us how He feels about us. I’ll bet His love is way more intense than we could ever imagine!
I mean the words from our Father are so great, how could we not know how He feels about us?
Before I Formed You in the Womb, I knew you. Jeremiah 1:5
"Yahweh called me before I was born; from my mother's womb he pronounced my name." Is. 49:1
"You know me through and through, from having watched my bones take shape when I was being formed in secret, knitted together in the womb." Ps. 139:15
"My days were listed and determined even before the first of them occurred." Ps. 139:16
Children are a heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb is a gift. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Psalm 127
"Listen to me....you who have been carried since birth, whom I have carried since the time you were born. In your old age I shall still be the same, when your hair is gray I shall still support you."
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. In love he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ, in accord with the favor of his will, for the praise of the glory of his grace that he granted us in the beloved. Ephesians 1: 3-6
Children are gifts, as great as any riches or gems! Remember we were children once and still are in the eyes of the Lord!